I get contacted every now and then by lovely Rockstars who have had a mean comment popped on their Social Media or Blog or an email that has been scathing and harsh.
It’s often very personal stuff.
It’s often loaded with really horrid comments about them, their business, their positioning and how dare they even consider charging for the stuff that they do.
Some are snarky and some are down right mean.
Now, before you use this post as evidence that being in business means that you are subjected to the bullies, trolls and generally the mean people of the interwebby please stop a moment. This isn’t as common as you might be allowing your brain to think right now. I work with people who have very big platforms and it is absolutely the exception rather than the rule so DO NOT let it stop you for doing your thing and getting your message out to the people that you can help.
I know that there are days when it’s easier to take than others. I know that if these comments come on a day when you are on fire and feeling a little untouchable then they can be brushed off with ease. I know that on other days those there comments will leave you questioning yourself, will feel wounding and will absolutely rattle you.
But, what do you need to know?
- Know that this is not a true reflection on you or your business. I know that people have offered up some personal comments to me before (on an image that was a stock image and not even me – tee hee hee) but these people don’t know me, they are simply sitting facelessly behind a computer and having a swipe.
- Know that people have their own agendas and the sad reality is that whilst most people are super supportive and nice, some people get their rocks off by being mean.
- Know that they obviously have a surplus of time and energy which they are NOT putting into the right things.
- Remember that hurt people, hurt people and that their comments and views of you are merely a reflection of how they feel about themselves rather than any reflection on who you are.
- It’s important to look at these situations in their reality rather than in the mass emotion of it. Chances are that the types of people who want to swipe at others aren’t happy people. Would you ever spend time looking for negatives? Would you ever feel compelled to contact someone, randomly, out of the blue and spout off in a personal attack? Nope.
- Remember that focusing on negatives merely brings more negatives into your reality.
My view is that this isn’t your stuff. You don’t need to take ownership of someone else’s opinion of you or of anyone else. A little rule I live by is acceptance should not be sought and judgement not cast – this is an individual journey with individual circumstances, goals, targets and needs. You don’t need to take on their views of you nor do you need them to like you. It’s ok. It really is.
I know that lots of people tell you that you have made it once you have a Troll – jeez, is that really necessary? Is that any comfort? Not really on both counts. It means that you have simply crossed paths with someone who wants to vent their negativity and it can happen in all sorts of ways at any stage in life or business.
So what can you do about it?
- Block, hide, delete & ban – these are all options you have available to you on most social media platforms. You don’t need to allow these people the platform to be mean. You don’t need to court the negativity.
- Move on.
I know that you might want to fall into the whole Karma thing – ah well, at least Karma will sort them out. There’s no need for you to wish them ill (either directly or through the help of our friend Karma. Remember this quote from the lovely Kate Spencer…