I stood in a field holding up a mirror that reflected my face caked in make-up. I was thinking to myself ‘this is never going to work because it’s not what other people do.’
I was in the first year of my coaching business and I’d been well and truly sucked into the ‘we have a blueprint that shares exactly what you need to do to be a huge success.’ I’d already invested thousands of pounds into a glass slipper that, deep down, I knew would never fit.
Sadly, that blueprint involved presenting a flawless image, flouncing around looking like I didn’t have a care in the world, and posting selfies showing me living my ‘dream life’.
For that particular photoshoot I’d booked a professional make-up artist who made me look, well, not remotely like me. I’d bought dresses that depicted a glitzy existence, and I’d booked the use of space in the grounds of a castle so that my photographer could capture all the ‘high vibe magic.’
Oh, how I cringe and laugh now! (who answers the phone like that ffs).
The photographer was a friend of 10 years. He looked a mixture of bewildered and bemused: ‘what message are you trying to share here Sophia? I’m just trying to get a handle on what you’re now offering in your business.’
At that time, even though I was a life coach, deeply rooted authenticity seemed to be just outside my reach. I was well and truly hiding behind this façade of what I was told would ‘attract all the right clients to me’. It attracted some who were curious, but more than anything it kicked the life out of my own confidence and self-esteem.
I was portraying a lifestyle that I would never be happy to embody!
I love to roam free in the fields, I love cosy fires and log cabins. I love nature and intimate conversations. I love to walk and sit on tree stumps sipping hot chocolate. I had zero interest in a champagne flute or wearing a dress I couldn’t freely climb a fence in! Even though I was going through the charade of having these photos taken you can see that I feel conflicted – the bare feet instead of the Jimmy Choos, the hat pulled at a silly angle like a
pirate. I was ‘doing what I’d been told to do’, but I was also sticking two fingers up at a subtle level.
I’d moved from a business model where I walked in the woods with my clients and helped them create mega shifts while we shared herbal tea from a flask, to one where I was ordering cream teas and sitting on plush velvet chairs in swanky establishments. I longed for the scent of the woodland air – and for clients who were down to earth. If you’ve been following the amazing Emma Holmes for a while now, you’ll know that I was being what she lovingly (ahem) calls a ‘business knob’.
Being authentic in your business felt so scary when I couldn’t see a role model who worked and lived like I wanted to, and anytime I came close to finding that I’d freak out and think ‘well she’s doing that so you can’t do that too’. It was a double bind.
It took me some time to stop putting my faith in the business FAKERY and embody the fact that the people who I’m right for will always find their way to me (hello) when I show the true ME. It took me time to bring humour to my work, to use my own words, and fully believe that I AM ENOUGH (and you are too). One of the things I did to help me excavate the real me was create this collage of all the other images of me over the years so I could
welcome back all those forgotten or disowned parts.
When I stopped hiding the real me life and business came back to LIFE.
- Social media was no longer a dread zone.
- Enrolling clients became a pleasure
(woodland walks and muddy boots were back!).
Standing up and talking in public about my business no longer felt like a performance.
- My face didn’t ache from keeping on the mask that hid the real me.
- I felt like I could trust myself again, to live and work in full integrity, and to support
my clients to do the same in their life and biz.
- I stopped burning energy trying to second-guess what I should do because when you
are fully being you there is no guessing – there’s a whole lot more DOING.
How about you? Have you been blindsided by the siren calls to ‘do your biz THIS way or
THAT?’ Do you feel vulnerable sharing the real you? Are you terrified of having a
How would it feel to let all that go AND feel safe?
When you share the real you, you open your life and biz for the results that you want, and you won’t lie in bed sweating over the clients you feel you need to ‘impress’ the next day.
To celebrate Halloween, I’m offering you an Empower Hour to support you to unleash the real you and Come Out From Behind The Mask. It’s my own personal blend of hypnotherapy and coaching (we’ll dive in wherever you’re at and create a shift – there are no cookie cutter approaches over here!).
If this calls to you loud and clear, book your zoom spot here. You’ll feel amazing when the real you comes out to play!
Sophia Hanson Coaching & Hypnotherapy
If it’s your first time here I wanna start off with a VERY warm welcome! I’m Emma Holmes and I’m head Rockstar at Rebels & Rockstars. My mission is to help and support you to create epic transformations that are sustainable, adventurous, never overwhelming and stacks of fun!
I’d love it if you had a shimmy around the site, you can find out a stack more about me on the “about me” page and do make sure you follow along on Social Media for all the updates, hints, tips, advice and support.