Please, stop pissing about. 

Life’s short, that’s not meant as a statement that’s made to make you feel bad/guilty/generally shit.  It’s a statement of fact.  Whilst we are sat in our heads it can feel like things are so stagnant and claggy that time almost seems to stand still but that’s not the case.  

We often have a stack of ideas, aspirations, shit we’d like to do.  We might even look on to what others are doing and have a tinge of the green eyed monster at what’s going on in their world (just a little disclaimer here ~ some of that may be the truth and some of it may be complete BS.  You really mustn’t get stuck in comparison >>click here if that’s coming up for you as there’s a little video that’ll help you<<

It might be that you sit there and think “well, things are ok and I should be super grateful for all I’ve got in my world.” 

OR you could feel like there’s something amiss but you can’t quite pop your pinky on what the fuck it actually is.  

However it’s showing up for you you know that there’s an element of you pissing about, you’re simply treading water, wading through treacle or generally stalling.  Standing in your own way.  Maybe making excuses about why you’re not (either internally to yourself or externally to the world).  

NOW’S NOT THE TIME FOR THAT! 

What if you could swap OK for EPIC? 

What if you could switch wading through treacle to swimming in the sunshine? 

What if you could take what you’ve got right now, take action and make magical things happen?  

IT’S ALL POSSIBLE! 

I was living in the world of things being OK.  Everything was ok.  I was doing OK.  Life was dandy.  Everything was clicking together day by day but I did have the nagging feeling that there was more. 

I felt uncomfortable but I was ok. 

I felt lethargic but I was ok.  

I didn’t want ok.  OK was, well, OK but it wasn’t epic/fulfilling/exciting/adventurous/giddy now was it.  

So how do you make the shift?  How do you actually stop pissing about? What’s coming up and how can you move beyond it and where is it leaving you? 

The Signs/Symptoms & Stuck

Right, how might this be showing up in your world right now? 

➡️A business idea sat inside your head or notebook that’s not been executed because it makes your bum nip. 

➡️A business that’s nowhere near it’s full potential because you’re getting in it’s way.  Your human is stopping you getting it out there and doing the work. 

➡️ Your health and wellness is bottom of the pile (perhaps you believe you’re taking one for the team/too busy to focus on you/have others as a higher priority blah blah blah). 

➡️Everything feeling hard and a huge daily dose of overthinking/procrastination/over analysing and, if we are totally honest, making a choice NOT TO do the stuff that you really wanna be doing because of crippling self doubt, self talk, comparison, fear of judgement, fear of failure, fear of success, worry about what others will think and general lack of confidence that you’ll make it work.  

^^^ wow, those sound HUGE don’t they.  When they are written in black and white they feel sad, they feel hugely impactful, they feel like a bit of a reality jolt.  

The biggies that are coming up are: 

😳 Fear 

😳 The Overs (overthinking, overanalysing, over efforting) 

😳 Self Confidence 

😳The Externals (what others think, what others are doing, what others perception is, whether we are pleasing people, others needs) 

😳 The internal chatter (what we are telling ourselves

What Can We Do About It All? 

In order to move beyond stuck we need to take action, sounds obvious doesn’t it but it’s not as simple as that is it? 

In order to stop pissing about we need to make a decision to stop pissing about – simple right?! 

Well, they are the 2 things we need to but if I could just sprinkle those words on you and skip off into the sunshine then the world would be a pretty simplistic place wouldn’t it. 

So, time for the nitty gritty. 

1️⃣ YOU ARE THE BIGGEST ASSET HERE.  Too many people spend all their time kicking their biggest asset.  If you bought a big ass, super expensive, fancy dan computer you would NOT kick it every time you walked past it, would you?  We need to stop doing this to ourselves.  Your health and wellness is paramount.  Your mindset is ridiculously important and without putting effort and attention into self you WILL NEVER get to play out with EPIC and will always be playing OK.  What does this mean?  Nourish yourself – with yummy nutritious food, with compassion, with time off (jeez, the people I see that keep telling me that they just need to push through this bit and the number of people I’d have to gently nurse back from burnout is MASSIVE ~ please stop this shit).  Hydrate, you’ll never be functioning optimally when you’re dehydrated.  Dehydration impacts productivity, clarity, concentration and creativity.  Rest and sleep ~ again, STOP RIDING THE WAVE OF EXHAUSTION AND BURN OUT!!! I can’t impress this one enough!  Movement ~ move yo ass!! You didn’t sign up to being an entrepreneur to be chained to your desk all day long now did you? 

2️⃣ Stop being such a meany pants! 

Let’s look at that boss you work for! Any of this sound familiar?

💩She never gives me time off

🙄 She expects me to work late into the night

💩 She berates me if I haven’t started work the minute my eyes are open

🙄 She thinks it’s ok to demand me to work weekends

💩She isn’t at all keen on a lunch break and if I even think of eating my lunch away from my desk then she’ll make me feel really guilty.

🙄 She expects me to respond to everything straight away.

💩She doesn’t congratulate me for a job well done.

🙄 She doesn’t give a shit if I hit my targets as she’s already moved the goal posts.

💩 She doesn’t give me holidays

🙄 I can’t take sick days without lashings of negativity, guilt and questioning as to whether I’m really sick enough to take the day off.

💩 She doesn’t celebrate the fact I’ve made a sale – she shouts and yells at me that I should have made more.

🙄 She’s never happy with my performance

💩She thinks having my phone with me is as essence to my heart beating to maintain my very existence

🙄 She doesn’t buy ice-creams in the summer or Christmas Presents at Christmas

💩 She says REALLY mean things to me every day (including Sundays and holidays)

🙄 She thinks that I’m not quite good enough – no matter what I do or the results I get.

💩She doesn’t believe any nice feedback about me
She reads negativity into everything

🙄 She won’t leave me alone – she’s in my head all the time, from the moment I wake to the time I snuggle up in my bed (sometimes she’s even joining me in my dreams). Like WTF – give me a break!!

💩💩💩💩💩She is an absolute bitch!💩💩💩💩💩

Why do I work for her? Because I choose to! I wanted to work for her. She was my dream boss. I decided to work for her because I no longer wanted to work for those other bosses who only expected 8 hrs a day from me, gave me weekends off, paid me every month and gave me 4 weeks paid holiday per year and didn’t expect me to even think about work during that time. I didn’t want a boss who thanked me for my work at the end of the week, who appraised me and pointed out my positives at the annual review, who incentivised my wins and who didn’t say mean things to me.

I chose her. 😱

Why? I thought she’d be kind. I thought she’d be a good boss to work for. I thought I’d be able to have time off to be with the people who needed me, when they needed me, without having to beg. I thought I could simply make the decision to go to the school play or the doctors appointment without having to explain myself and promising to make the time up.

Aaaaahhhhh, but she wasn’t what I expected at all.

Holy shit – She is me & I am her.

It’s time to STOP these shenanigans. It’s time to stop being such a cow bag to yourself. It’s time to upgrade your boss.

So it’s time for a disciplinary meeting for that there meanie pants.

Right, no longer are we willing to accept your mean behaviour. It’s not acceptable and it will no longer be tolerated.

Working every hour will simply make people less productive. Burn out is a REAL thing AND will mean that you HAVE to stop whether you like it or not. It’s much better to put positive and enthusiastic energy into your business than burnout and negative energy into there.

It’s ok to have time off – in fact it’s essential.

Don’t say anything that you wouldn’t be prepared to say to your best friend or someone you love. That dialogue needs to be constructive, supportive and encouraging.

It’s time to celebrate the wins before moving on to the next thing.

Now I’ve been there previously but I’ve pretty much got this licked now – every now and then the mean boss appears but I can soon pop her back in her box. She doesn’t have the right to be horrid and abusive to me anymore 😂

How are we going to ensure that these changes are made and implemented;

Celebrate successes and write down your wins of the week every week (I do this every Friday afternoon on my Facebook Page)

Take a note of your monthly numbers on the 1st of every month and then you can see the areas of growth throughout the month.

Celebrate the sale/win/progress and practice saying nice things rather than going straight to what you haven’t done.
Access your feedback regularly and know that people mean what they say.

Diary in time off and “cave” time. I went to a conference in 2016 where one of the speakers said that he scheduled in over 100 days off per year at the beginning of each year and stuck to it. It was time when the office didn’t contact him (unless the sky was falling in) and that he didn’t look at work. This time inspired his creativity and recharged his batteries. If that makes you feel sick then start with a day a week and a week per year perhaps?!

If you can’t say (or think) anything nice then say nothing at all.

Time to stand up to her, two fingers aloft and say “fuck you, I’m not prepared to have a mean boss anymore!!”

3️⃣  💖I’M NOT READY, I CAN’T DO THIS, I’M SCARED 💖

The voice inside your head shrills – you can’t do that, you’re not ready for the next level, gosh look at the people who are doing that stuff – you’re nowhere near as good as they are, who do you think you are even thinking that the next stage is right for you. You’d better just pipe down on the whole ambition thing or you are going to get burnt. You better just stay where you are or you’ll only be disappointed. You need to just sort your shizzle out in this current position before you are even allowed the luxury to dream. You’re not good enough, you’re not clever enough, you’re not advanced enough, you can’t teach/show/support/give them anything. You’re stuff stinks.

😩 E N O U G H A L R E A D Y ! ! ! ! ! ! ! 😩

I know it’s one that comes around A L O T where people get stuck in the self talk and the self comparison. I know because I’ve been there and my Rockstars have those experiences all the time, at least once a week I’m helping people fire fight the self talk fairy and she’s on persistent little sucker!

So what can you do?

How can you self manage this little blighter?

You’ve already got the first step by recognising her in all her glory. The self talk fairy firstly needs to be recognised for what she is. She’s N O T the truth, she does not best and in fact she’s a little bit of a liar liar pants on fire.

Secondly – disarm her of her power! Tell her that you find it’s very interesting that she’s shown up right now and examine the reasons why she might have shown up. You might be about to embark on a bigger project, you might be ready to follow your dreams, you might have taken a step up and into your power and prowess, you might have surrounded yourself with a group of mastermind buddies and started to compare yourself to them, you might simply be tired and need a rest – whatever it is recognise the reason she’s shown up. THEN have a little game of truth or lie. Go through that stuff she’s saying and telling you and ask yourself whether the stuff she’s saying is truth or a big fat lie. I like to write it all down as once it’s out there on paper I feel I can ridicule the self talk fairy a little because lots of what she’s saying looks utterly ridiculous once written down.

NEXT – a little self belief is what’s needed here. Instead of looking for and attracting experiences that make you feel not good enough it’s time to fire up the self belief. Read some of your testimonials, surround yourself with client/customer feedback, look at your products for a little while, ask your fans for a little input into what they love about your business. Call in stuff that confirms your awesomeness rather than feeds your fears.

Finally, know that you are capable, know that there’s no one size fits all approach to business building or success, know that you are smart enough, determined enough and tenacious enough to make this mission a reality. You don’t need to be cleverer, thinner, prettier, have a different voice, just finish this course, hang fire where you are, consolidate your position (unless of course you want to). You are perfect as you are with the knowledge you have, looking and sounding just as you do. You are the perfect fit for the people who are perfect for you.
Stop sweating the small stuff and give yourself a self bashing break. Move into a place of service for the next couple of days and purely concentrate on serving your fans, help & supporting your clients and giving awesome value.

See the difference you make in the world of others? If you can’t now, you soon will.

Keep going.

Step into your awesome.

Shut up the self talk fairy.  #ditchthebitch

4️⃣ BACK YOURSELF!!! 

This one is HUGE.  It’s about small steps consistently taken.  You don’t create change with one grandiose action.  It’s step by step.  Bit by bit.  

My biggie is that you back yourself.  Don’t look too far ahead.  Don’t focus your sights on being happy/content/epic WHEN……… But each and every day ask yourself what you can do to move forwards. What action can you take today to move/shuffle/crawl in the right direction?  What can you do today to back yourself? 

So Now What? 

FOCUS on what you CAN do rather than what you CAN’T do and look at what you WILL do.  

What will you do today to move forwards from here? 

What can you do today to move forwards from here? 

It’s time to get into action.  It’s within our heads that we create excuses/stories/reasons we can’t and it’s within taking action that we provide ourselves with evidence that we CAN. 

You’re a shit tonne more capable than you believe yourself to be. 

If you’re ready to ring those changes then do make sure that you get your hands on the Change Matrix too….

Need A Little Help To Navigate The Current Changes?

Sometimes we actively make decisions to make changes and sometimes those changes are thrust our way.  However change looks it doesn’t need to be a beast and a hugely scary experience.  Grab your FREE copy of the Change Matrix E-Book to help you to navigate what change means to you and what it might look like.

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