So this is part 2 of our two parter of Lessons I’ve learned in life so far.
You can read part one here;
If you’ve already read it then let’s crack on with part 2!
Lessons From Being Critically Ill
You are stronger than you ever give yourself credit for and than you ever know until you have to be strong.
Well, well, well – you definitely don’t know how strong you are until you are in a position where you have to be strong. It’s not about being brave, bravery doesn’t come into in when you are knee deep in shit and literally looking to move forwards moment by moment. Until I couldn’t walk (after spending 2 weeks in hospital, bed bound) I didn’t know how hard it was to learn to walk. Until I had muscle wastage from too long spent inactive I didn’t realise how heavy a kettle was and until I wasn’t able to climb the stairs unaided I didn’t realise that they could seem like Mount Everest looming in front of you.
BUT it’s more than that isn’t it. It’s about the mental strength that it takes to come through the tough times. It’s about you deciding not to be a victim and to keep pushing yourself forwards.
It’s never one grand gesture – it’s always small steps consistently taken.
I would give myself the smallest and most ridiculous of goals – each day I would walk one hour further down the street, my aim? To get to the shop all by myself.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said;
“A woman is like a tea bag – you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.”
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
When you go through BIG stuff then the stuff that you used to think was big stuff seems to become teeny weeny! I heard the expression “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and I used to think it was just another one of those sayings, you know – the type that gives a little lift in the moment but has no real significance.
I think that the big thing is is that it makes you resilient, it shows you how strong you are and it pops other things into perspective.
Don’t take the little things for granted
Gratitude is a hugely chattered about phenomenon right now – be grateful, write gratitude lists, focus on the good and there are times where we simply go through the motions. Ah, yeah, I’m grateful for my house, the food in the fridge, my freedom and ability to go where I choose blah blah blah BUT sometimes the vibration doesn’t match and the magnitude doesn’t make sense. When I was in hospital a number of nurses (yup 3) took some time out of their super busy ward to give me a bath. It was the first Sunday in November 2004 and they spent the time running it, getting me there (no mean feat with the stuff I was hooked up to), lowering me in, washing my hair and getting me back out again. It was the most truly awesome experience of my life. The little things are AMAZING!!
You can be strong and looked after at the same time
Ok, so I’m not the world’s best patient. I’m an impatient patient and I when the chips are down I can be fiercely motivated and independent BUT what I learned was that I didn’t have to struggle and I didn’t have to do things alone. Yes, I could have amazing boundaries and I didn’t want to be molly coddled but equally people could take care of me too.
It’s a series of steps and you need to motivate yourself to take the next step with the big goal in mind
I mentioned it in passing earlier – never a grand gesture, it’s small steps consistently taken AND no matter what the goal or target you can break that bad boy down into a series of little steps that will see you through to the goal with ease.
Lessons From Being a Mumma
You can’t control everything
Or anything!!! I used to be a lover of a list and a touch of a control freak but motherhood bashed that one out of me. I am now more likely to be seen winging it and totally going with the flow. Things usually turn out just the same anyway. It’s funny because whilst I was the one who had to micro plan we seem to have swapped roles in our house. Entry to a theme park last year was testament to that as Mr Rockstar was busying trying to plan a route around the park I was much more “aaaahhh, it’ll be reet – we’ll find where we wanna go and follow our feet.”
I’m all for a plan but I’ve ditched the micro plans as they simply become expectations and those expectations become yardsticks and that stick is then used to beat you!
Your list will become never ending
So in business I say – embrace the list! The list means that you still have action steps to take in order to progress your business. The minute you get to the end of all of the tasks is the minute you’ll stagnate and stagnant is smelly!
Lists are never ending AND it’s totally a good thing.
You’ll never get to the bottom of the list and accepting that will make you a whole stack happier.
You can’t even hide in the toilet anymore
Whilst there’s no sacred place anymore and the kids will find you no matter where you are, you can still hide when they are at school or out BUT then you go & get a dog and still there’s no hiding place (face palm) ????
You have the capacity to love beyond words but be objective and subjective
I know my kids are amazing, I also know that they can sometimes be challenging. I know that they are growing and finding their feet and personality and I love ever fibre of their being (but sometimes they annoy me). Laugh, cry, hysterical, annoyed, cross, love, pride, honour – you can go through them all within seconds.
Same with your business.
It’s about not being blind to the reality but also loving BIG and I say that for family, for business and for life generally.
You can make decisions when you need to
Yup, you can embrace those BIG decisions (vaccinations, health, education) and be much more decisive about that stuff than you are about what’s for tea.
I mean – why won’t someone else input on that one!!
Your patience will be tested
It’s not all pixies and unicorns – motherhood, biz, life << you know, everything.
There’ll be time when your patience is tested. Draw back to the love every time because that’s will what will bring you out of the funk quickly!
You will be honed into daily and weekly growth and not just producing an adult.
I used to love those days when I went and took the kids to be weighed and measured when they were babies. Counting those ounces of growth.
When you have a baby you’re not focused on growing an adult. You are focusing on the next stage of development and the joy & challenges that go with each stage #justsaying < you might wanna apply that to your business too!
I’ve gone on long enough I feel, let’s pick this up with a part 3 too!