Ok, so, there’s a couple of things that I want to explore with this one!
The concept of the snidey/loaded remark or Facebook Post and the whole “what did you make it mean” thing.
Eeeeeeeeeee, well that one felt a bit loaded didn’t it??!!! It’s something that comes on to my radar occasionally when one of my gorgeous Rockstars either has either found themselves in a situation or observed a situation that has resulted in someone making an off-hand remark or a little subtle dig. It’s an observation that we often see play out. Someone’s miffed. They post something on Facebook which is either posted with a whole stack of negative vibes attached to it OR they are posting in order to achieve some kinda reaction.
So here’s the thing. For every situation or circumstances there are a number of truths. There’s your truth, other peoples’ truth and THE truth.
We are all looking at stuff through our own life filters.
We react based on the evidence we hold personally and the view points that we have achieved (which are ultimately achieved through the position we are in right now and our story of what has gone before).
These comments or digs aren’t useful or helpful to anyone.
To be honest, the loaded post doesn’t even really make the writer feel any better about what’s been said.
I posted a meme earlier this week that was along the lines of ~ just because I didn’t react doesn’t mean I didn’t notice.
If you find yourself in these situations then it’s a conscious choice for YOU as to how YOU react. You have a choice as to whether you are going to place your logs (your time, effort, energy and attention) into the situation and keep it alight or whether you are going to kept a hold of your logs and use them in a more positive and productive way ~ your call.
If something feels loaded then we go on to the “what did you make it mean.” I’ve seen people weave whole, dramatic stories into one persons off hand comment. At times, the comment has seemed neither nowt nor sommat but because of what someone knows and feels that comment has grown arms and legs and become a monster.
If you are observing something and suddenly you think 🌟 🌟 IS THAT ABOUT ME 🌟🌟 then it probably is BECAUSE there’s absolutely some kinda lesson in there for you (whether in fact the comment was directed at you or not is absolutely irrelevant).
Give yourself a moment. Reacting whilst filled with emotion is never a good idea. Inhale and then say to yourself or write out “now, that’s interesting that that made me feel that way, what’s behind it?”
Why did that comment/post/reaction make me feel that way?
What was the trigger?
What’s behind that?
Did I consider whether that person was having a bad day, had something going on, was reacting to a different set of circumstances?
No-one can steal your sunshine without your permission and it’s entirely up to you to decide to examine yourself first before going off on the attack in retaliation ~ it might not even be about you in any event.
People are busy. It’s not excuse but people sometimes forget their manners when using the written word or we read a tone into text that actually doesn’t exist ~ yeah, you gotta be so careful with the whole writing jazz.
If you think it’s about you THEN THERE’S DEFINITELY A LESSON IN IT FOR YOU.
If people are truly swiping and griping about you on Social Media then there’s a fab little flow chart that can help you to get to the bottom of it. You’ll find “The Wobbles Sheet” here >> http://www.discovertwitter.co.uk/mindset-printables/