For me, a truly fulfilled life includes freedom, humour, engagement, beauty and connection. These are the things which make me feel alive, give my life meaning, and bring me the greatest joy. These are my core values.
Life is the greatest when aligned to what we most value. When we’re not aligned, everything feels out of whack. And my life had felt out of whack for a very long time. I was so tired of feeling stuck, like I was watching my life from the outside, waiting and wishing for the moment I could start playing.
It’s true that change begets change, and for me it was a series of changes which led to my finally being able to take a leap. I didn’t really connect it at the time, but my father’s passing led me to realise my life was on hold, and I was tired of it. I began making changes. I’d been saying I wanted to travel for so long, and I booked my first solo trip. I’d been saying I wanted a relationship for so long, and I started therapy to figure out what was keeping me detached. I’d been unhappy in my career for so long. The combination of therapy and a shakeup at work led me to finally start seeing a career consultant, to help me formulate a best next step.
That worked for me then because I craved process, I wanted someone to tell me there was finally going to be an answer! I thought he would tell me what it was.
Of course he didn’t do that. He did guide me to greater clarity around what was most important to me.
The answer to what I really wanted to do, though, came only once I allowed myself the peace and quiet to let it come to me.
For so long I had been trying to figure ‘it’ out. I thought ‘it’ meant the perfect career that would bring me happiness, joy, fulfilment, meaning, and engagement. All the things I’d been craving for so long.
I’d poured so much time and money into trying to find the answer, and I felt completely dejected when I still couldn’t figure ‘it’ out. I thought I was a lost cause.
I was so exhausted by all the work and so convinced I would never figure it out, I took a break. I put it all on hold for a while. I let go.
And the extraordinary thing is, that’s when it came to me, that coaching was my natural next step. That all my experience to date had led me to this. That it fit who I am at my core, allowed me to feel free, to be funny and have fun, to feel fully engaged in my activities, to be in beautiful spaces, and to create deep, meaningful connections.
You would think that would be the end of the story. I did too! I thought I had finally, FINALLY figured it all out.
The amazing thing is, I now look back at that moment of decision as just the beginning, not the end. So much has changed since my coaching journey began, things I never would have been able to predict. Life has completely transformed.
The reason I’m sharing this story is because I know there are so many of you out there who are just like I was. It’s who I work with every day. Those who want so much to live a more engaged and meaningful life, who are trying to get everything perfect before taking a step forward, thinking they need to have it all figured out in advance.
Life doesn’t work like that. And thank goodness! That would mean once you figured it all out, you’d be done! I don’t want to be done! I’m just getting started.
Change is different for everyone. I’m not here to tell you what to do, or what will work for you. I don’t know your story, what’s holding you back, what you really want, the essence of you.
What I do know is if you want something more, then it is yours for the taking. The Universe is waiting to support you.
So here is what I will share with you, from my lessons along the way, of what worked for me and what works for my clients, take it or leave it:
Follow your values. Let them give you clues as far as what’s most important to you, what lights you up, who you want to be around, what environment you want to be in, and what you want to earn to live your desired life.
Let go of trying to figure out the perfect solution. It doesn’t exist. And there isn’t only one path that will make you happy.
Feeling stuck? Shut your brain off for a while. Stop working so hard at trying to ‘figure it out.’ See what comes to you.
Externalize it. Start experimenting. Try something new. Talk to someone. Follow the things that are interesting. Be grateful for the things that don’t work, because they are giving you important information.
You cannot fully predict where you will end up. And how boring if you could! Once you begin moving forward, new thoughts, experiences, ideas, opportunities and people appear to you that you never would have known about had you not gotten started.
Know that getting ‘the thing’ is not what will bring you fulfilment. It truly isn’t about the destination, it’s about the transformation you experience along the journey.
Wishing you all the love and luck along the way!