Do you believe in you?
Or are you shaking your head and saying “nah, not really.” I bet DEEP down you do. You haven’t quit (you might have thought about it but you haven’t).
I’ve worked with lots of Rockstars who haven’t always believed that they could make it but I believe in them and they can borrow that belief if they need to.
I also found a good quote this week (ok, so I’m taking the credit for Mr Rockstars find on this one) from Good Will Hunting “some people can’t believe in themselves until someone else believes in them first”
I was musing about borrowed belief as it’s something I have been experiencing in my world recently. How fear can rise and then sometimes you need someone else to believe that it’ll be all ok before you get super brave and take the steps that you need to take.
I know that it’s super easy to give up.
I have a little rescue doggie. We have had her for about a year. I’ve tried to train her a couple of times before.
She’s scared! She barks furiously at all other animals. She’s small and she’s simply protecting herself.
I was told a couple of times to muzzle her and we felt that that really needed to be a last resort. We kept her away from other dogs and grew our bond with her and her bond with us.
I took her to dog training.
I stood outside of the venue and I was about to text my hubby to say, I’m coming home, she’s simply not ready for this. She was in attack mode and was barking her little socks off, she was super stressed and anxty.
Fast forward 20 min and she was ok about being in a room with 7 other dogs and 40 min in I let her off her lead for 20 sec to retrieve some treats.
Why am I telling you this?
1) best I am super proud of her!
2) because it took me pushing her outside of her comfort zone to start to make some progress
3) it took finding someone with the expertise to help me to start to make a change
4) giving up is the easy out
It’s not always easy to do stuff worth doing. You will have doubts as to whether or not you are capable. The likelihood is that you will question yourself BUT if you are brave enough to wade in, you have the right support and you are up for the challenge you can see changes within 20 min 😉
We have continued and we are making progress.
So now the fabulous dog trainer has sent me over to the other side of the field, the field was filled with doggies playing and has been a place of fear for both of us to greater and lesser extents (although we have kept going and kept taking those steps forwards). Anyhaps, as I stood at the other side of the field and the trainer had my little doggie, he let go of her, and I was to yell her to me. At first she was worried, her tail was down and her head was whizzing all over the place, keeping an eye out for dogs in her area (gotta admit I was a little anxious too) but as she progressed her tail came up, she stopped worrying about anything else around her and started to run towards me. She even looked to quite enjoy the freedom.
A baby-step but an epic step!
The lesson here?? The journey may seem a little frightening, you might not want to take it, it might feel uncomfortable and you might be whizzing your head all over the place, anxious at what might be coming forth BUT you’ll realise it’s not as scary as you first thought, you might even lift your tail a little and start to enjoy it 😉
Next step she has gone to play with some other dogs. I gotta say that I always feel super uncomfortable when we take the next stage at dog training. I look at the trainer with eyes of fear and say “are you sure?” I’m scared. I’m scared that she will go to attack another dog, I’m scared that she will hurt herself, I’m scared that she will hurt another dog. My fears would stop me dead if I couldn’t borrow the belief of the trainer. He knows it’ll be ok, he knows that he can handle any situation that comes forth. He is experienced, he can see it away from the fear that I am seeing.
I believe in him and I can borrow his belief in my lovely little pooch.
Borrowed belief can sometimes be necessary to take the next step.
So, I’m just checking in to say “I believe in you.”
Sometimes it just taking that first step and side stepping the fear, sometimes you need someone else to believe it’s possible for you to quell your anxiety.