Right then lovely, there’s nothing worse than the sad dawning that you are actually the one that’s standing between YOU & what you want. That flooding feeling that you’re the one who’s creating the dam in the, what could be, free flowing river.
Yeah you say you want it BUT there you stand. Some people might try to poke you & provoke you by saying “but do you really want it when you’re the only one stopping it happen.” I’m not going to say that because that’s not the truth. There are occasions where simply getting on with it is super hard.
You might be scared, it’s totally ok and natural to be scared of doing shit you haven’t done before. You’re designed as a human to be cautious of that which is beyond your comfort zone. You’re wired to rely on experience as being your safety barometer and when you move beyond that then the warning lights flash. See, it’s totally normal. You’re not being irrational, you’re not being a knob.
BUT, perhaps it isn’t something new. Perhaps you’re scared because you’ve had experience of it and that it didn’t turn out quite how you’d planned it to. You may have created a big story around it, you may have decided that it’s a HUGE beast, you may have made it mean something (irrespective of whether it meant that thing or not).
FEAR is the thing that creates us standing in our own way.
😳Fear of the unknown
😳 Fear of success
😳Fear of failure
😳 Just shit scared!
AND it’s ok, there’s stacks you can do about it and lots you can do to shift it!
Let’s dive in….
The Steps To Getting Out Of Your Own Way
So the first thing you can do is to actually recognise and take ownership of the fact that it’s you that’s in your way. We can often project it onto our circumstances, onto the reasons (that we think are rational) about why we can’t do it, we can create stories and excuses about why we haven’t done it and can even blame others for the fact that it’s not happened.
Jeez, it’s complex isn’t it! 😱
You taking ownership of it is a BIGGIE. When you own it you can do something about it. YOU are responsible for what happens in your world and whilst there are occasions that situations are thrust upon us we always have the choice as to how to react.
So, grab ownership of it and let’s look at ringing some changes!
I absolutely don’t want you to get stuck in this one! It would be easy to head down a hole that compounds your stuck if you allowed it to happen.
Pick up on the reason behind the resistance. Ask yourself “where’s the fear, what am I actually scared of.” You might want to journal this out, you might want to ruminate it as a little one in your head, you might wanna talk about it to the dog on the dog walk or consider it in the shower ~ whatever works for you. Picking up on where the resistance lies gives you knowledge & power!
With the answers you can then see if there’s any stories/excuses that you have been feeding to your self. I like to play a little game with the lovely self talk fairy around these bad boys. I write down the stories/excuses & resistances. Why? Because this discharges them of their emotional charge and energy. You can then play a game of “truth or big fat lie.” Look objectively at each one that came up and decide whether what you have been telling yourself is in fact the truth or a big fat lie.
We can then start to shimmy forwards a little.
The next question to ask yourself is “what would it take for me to……………” and insert that thing. That thing you’ve been getting in your own way about. What would it look like if you weren’t in your way? What would you need to do to make that happen?
GET OVER YOURSELF
This one is perhaps a little harsher kick!
👍 it’s ok to be scared
👍 it’s ok to take it one step at a time
👍everyone isn’t watching (people aren’t as judgey as we believe them to be and those that are are not to have any form of significance in your world).
👍 you are worth investing in and do deserve to back yourself.
👍it’s never anywhere near as scary as you think it is.
👍you’re comfort zone quickly catches up
Which leads me nicely on to………
WHY ACTION IS BETTER THAN THOUGHT
It is within our heads that we gain and gather reasons and excuses about why we CAN’T and it is within action that we create the evidence that we CAN!
What ONE THING can you do today to start to get out of your own way?
What’s the one task or activity which will start to move you forwards.
STOP PUTTING IT OFF
It’s exhausting, it only causes turmoil for you and it keeps you stuck.
It might be a business activity and just to add a layer of outside too ~ you’re stealing from those who need you/your product whilst you’re standing it it’s way.
You will stay stuck if you remain in inaction.
Time to get going!
You don’t want to keep putting yourself through the ringer like this now do you?
KNOW YOU CAN’T FAIL
It’s not about the end results. It’s not a pass or a fail, a success or a shit tip. It’s about those individual movements.
You’ll be opening up a new path.
You’ll be seeing new potential and possibilities.
You’re not on a set course with it and can pivot and change as you go.
You can’t fail because you’ll keep adapting.
The only time anyone ever fails is when they stop taking a step/attempt and turn their back on it.
There’s either successes or lessons along the way.
CREATE A NEW EVIDENCE BASE
As I’ve said it’s within the action that you create the evidence that you can. You create the evidence that it wasn’t quite as bad as you thought it might be. You create evidence that you’re brave enough to give it a blast. You create evidence that you can take the steps.
It’s not about fixating on the outcome. The outcome will develop and grow BUT taking the steps will provide so much for you to be proud of, take heart from and write new evidence into your thought paths of what you’re able and capable of.
USE IT AS A CATALYST
Taking that first step can then lead to the next steps. It can create movement and momentum. You can go back to the question “what would it take for me to……..” and write the next set of steps and the next. Individual actions that you can slay off your list.
I hope you’ve found that super useful. I’d love for you to dive into the comments and let me know your biggest takeaway and what you are going to use to get yourself moving forwards!
In the meantime, you might love this too….
Need A Little Help To Navigate The Current Changes?
Sometimes we actively make decisions to make changes and sometimes those changes are thrust our way. However change looks it doesn’t need to be a beast and a hugely scary experience. Grab your FREE copy of the Change Matrix E-Book to help you to navigate what change means to you and what it might look like.
If it’s your first time here I wanna start off with a VERY warm welcome! I’m Emma Holmes and I’m head Rockstar at Rebels & Rockstars. My mission is to help and support you to create epic transformations that are sustainable, adventurous, never overwhelming and stacks of fun!
I’d love it if you had a shimmy around the site, you can find out a stack more about me on the “about me” page and do make sure you follow along on Social Media for all the updates, hints, tips, advice and support.